Archived columns and blog posts by Matt Elliott

Let's play Rob Ford Apology Bingo!

Mayor Rob Ford apologized at least three times this week. Once for drunkenness. Once for crack cocaine, consumed while in a state of drunkenness. (A “stupor!”) And once following the release of a pretty exciting video in which the mayor of Canada's largest city says he will “kill that f**king guy” and calls himself a “sick motherf**ker, dude.” (His mother and sister also kind of apologized, but let's never mention that again.)

For Ford, making any kind of apology at all is a step forward. In the past, his default has been total denial. But his attempts to say sorry this week were lacking. He expressed some remorse, sure, but only in a self-pitying kind of way, and in all cases vowed to improve himself but made no real attempt to explain how exactly he’d be doing that. He still refuses to even step away from his office temporarily, despite virtually the entire city — this writer included — urging him to do so.

So because we’re bound to continue to see this pattern of bombshell news followed by weak apology play out over the coming days, weeks and months, I can think of only one thing left to do.

Let’s play Bingo.

Below is your official Mayor Rob Ford Apology Bingo card. The next time Ford steps forward to apologize for whatever it is that’s happened that day, take a pen and mark off the squares as he makes reference to them. So, for example, when the mayor says, “I’m embarrassed” — which he inevitably will — mark an X through the box.

If you score a complete line, you win! That’s not a euphemism. Enjoy!

This post was originally published at on 2013-11-08T00:00:00.000Z

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Matt Elliott

City Hall watcher, columnist and policy wonk in Toronto.
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